Domestic abuse housing support

This guideline is a useful tool, however you should seek support from a specialist domestic abuse service if you are experiencing abuse as this is the safest option.

This webpage provides guidance on how to plan and prepare if you wish to flee domestic abuse. It gives some practical and safety tips. By using this guide, it does not mean you have to leave the home permanently, it may give you time you need to reassess and seek additional advice and support and decide what your available and safest options are going forward.

Use this as a guide and choose what is right for you.

• Always dial 999 in an emergency - if you are unable to speak press 55 and you will automatically be transferred to the police, press 55 again if you cannot talk
• Plan how you might respond in different situations, including crisis situations.
• Think about the different options that may be available to you.
• Be prepared to leave the house in an emergency.
• Keep with you any important and emergency telephone numbers. 
• If you have children, teach your children to call 999 in an emergency, and what they would need to say (for example, their full name, address, and telephone number).
• Are there neighbours, friends, or family members you could trust, and where you could go in an emergency? If so, tell them what is going on, and ask them to call the police if they hear sounds of a violent attack, shouting, screams. If not, you can always contact the council or your neighbourhood officer. 
• Rehearse an escape plan, so in an emergency you and the children can get away safely.
• Pack an emergency bag for yourself and your children, and hide it somewhere safe (for example, at a neighbour’s or friend’s house). Try to avoid mutual friends or family. See the suggestions below on what to pack if you are planning to leave your partner.
• Try to always keep a small amount of money on you.
• Know where the nearest phone is, and if you have a mobile phone, try to keep it with you always charged.
• If you suspect that your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower risk area of the house – for example where there is a way out and access to a telephone. Avoid the kitchen or garage where there are likely to be knives or other weapons; and avoid rooms where you might be trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
• In case of escalation try to go outside the house as there could be witnesses 
• Be aware of the Domestic Abuse organisations that can support you – you can find a list of services in RBKC on our website

Separating and post separation

If you do decide to leave, it is best to plan this carefully and if you can, with the support or a specialist from a domestic abuse service. Sometimes abusers will increase their abuse if they suspect you are thinking of leaving and will continue to do so after you have left, so this can be a particularly risky time. It’s important to remember that ending the relationship will not necessarily end the abuse.

• Thinking about leaving and making the decision to leave can be a long process.
• Act as normal as possible while planning to leave.
• Plan to leave at a time you know your partner will not be around. 
• Try to take everything you will need with you, including any important documents relating to yourself and your children, as you may not be able to return later.
• Take your children with you. If they are at school, make sure that the head of the school and the safeguarding lead and all your children’s teachers know what the situation is, and who will be collecting the children.
• If possible, try to set aside a small amount of money each week, or even open a separate bank account.
• Consider changing your phone number and email address, and blocking anyone who has been abusing you, their friends, and associates. 
• Consider closing your social media accounts or changing the passwords, update your security settings to the highest level and blocking anyone who has been abusing you. Remember that digital photographs contain location data which could be used to track you. 
• Change your passwords for online banking and other.
• Make copies of important documents such as ID for you and the family and keep the originals in a safe place.
• Planning it doesn’t mean you have to carry it through immediately – or at all. But it may help to be able to consider all the options and think about how you could overcome the difficulties involved.

What to pack if you are planning to leave

If you can pack your “emergency bag” and keep it with a trusted friend or family member or in a safe place. Below is a list of what you may wish to include:

• Some form of identification - Birth certificates for you and your children. Passports, driving licence, visas, and work permits.
• Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit and debit cards.
• Keys for house, car, and place of work. (You could get an extra set of keys cut and put them in your emergency bag.)
• Cards for payment of Universal Credit, Child Benefit, Housing Benefit and any other welfare benefits you are entitled to.
• Driving licence (if you have one) and car registration documents, if applicable.
• Prescribed medication.
• Copies of documents relating to your housing tenure (for example, tenancy agreements/ mortgage documents).
• Insurance documents, including national insurance number.
• Address book.
• Family photographs, your diary, jewellery, small items of sentimental value.
• Clothing and toiletries for you and your children.
• Your children’s favourite small toys.
• You should also take any documentation relating to the abuse – e.g., police reports, court orders such as injunctions and restraining orders, and copies of medical records if you have them.
• A notebook and a pen.
• Phone charger.

Housing and security

• If you can remain in your home and additional safety measures are needed at home, you can access the RBKC Sanctuary Scheme or look for Sanctuary Schemes in your area.
• A Sanctuary Scheme is a multi-agency victim centred initiative which aims to enable households at risk of violence to remain safely in their own homes by installing a ‘Sanctuary’ in the home and through the provision of support to the household. This would need the landlord’s permission and is a physical reinforcement on your home - for example additional locks, stronger doors.
• Refuges - this is a safe, temporary accommodation mostly for women and children escaping domestic abuse with access to one-to-one emotional and practical support. There are some refuges available for men and the LGBTQ+ community.
• You can access safe accommodation advice and support through any local authority (council) housing department. You can find further information on the Domestic Abuse and Housing page of the RBKC website.

Legal

There are legal remedies that you can take to protect yourself, your children and family. This is better to do it with the support of a specialist domestic abuse service and we recommend you always seek independent legal advice before taking action on the remedies below. These can include: 

• Non-Molestation Order (NMO). They are one type of an injunction, a term used to describe any court order served on someone forbidding specified behaviour, such as threatening you, or limiting their actions, like visiting your home. A non-molestation order is typically issued to prohibit an abuser from using or threatening physical violence, intimidating, harassing, pestering or communicating with you. An order could prevent the abuser coming within a certain distance of you, your home address or even attending your place of work. It could also include your children in certain circumstances. An order will also prevent an abuser from instructing or encouraging others to do any of those actions.
• Occupation order - An occupation order is a civil injunction (legal order) issued by a court to regulate who can occupy/ live in a specific property. It is quite often used in cases of Domestic Abuse where there is a dispute or a concern about who should live in the shared home. You can find more information on Shelters website.
• Stalking and harassment protection orders
• Child arrangement orders 
• DVPO (Domestic Violence Protection Order) and DVPN which is an emergency non-molestation and eviction notice which can be issued by the police, when attending to a domestic abuse incident, to a perpetrator
• Divorce 
• Report to the police 
• DDVC (Destitution of Domestic Abuse Concession) if you are in spousal visa and have no recourse to public funds.
• Rights of women is an organisation that provide legal advice, please see their main website and if you scroll down you can find their advice lines numbers and opening times.

Children

• Notify the children’s centre, nursery, school, or college if you can and feel comfortable sharing what you are experiencing. 
• If you are pregnant, let your midwife know and the hospital so they can help you.
• Notify Family Social services if they are involved and ask for support when need it.  
• Check your children’s phones/tablets for tracking apps and turn off the location. 

Financial

• Debts, benefits (Citizens advice bureau)
• Contact your local council for financial advice.
• Child maintenance application 
• If you share a bank account with your partner try to set up a new one. If your partner have access to your bank account think about changing the password, if is safe to do that.

Health and Wellbeing

• Counselling. You can try to access counselling services through your GP, with the support of a Domestic Abuse worker, privately or thought the NHS. 
• Group support services. There might be local group support services around your area for survivors. Check your local domestic abuse service for further information. 
• Mental health services 
• There are specific support programmes for women and children such as DART delivered by the NSPCC.

Additional support factors

• If you want to find services in your local area you can download the Bright Sky app through your app store which can help you
• Hollie guard app is a safety measure that you can download on your phone. This is a personal safety app. Before you download the app, please follow this list to check if your phone might be monitored.
• You can also check the passwords and privacy settings on emails and social media accounts.
• If you contact any agencies, professional please make sure you keep a diary record. Include, time, date, whom you spoke to and their contact details if you can get them and even possibly their job title